Originally published on March 10, 2019.
Six years ago last month I received the most exciting call of my professional life.
On the other end of the phone (which, by the way, was a cordless phone that actually had to mount to the wall to charge), was a really nice lady news producer who asked me to share my money-saving knowledge each week with the viewers of the Fox TV Network.
A weekly segment on the news!!
The real TV!
The same one my Mom watches and everything!
Every week. It was like a dream come true. Wow.
The following six years, I arrived at the news station at 7am every Sunday to share my money-saving passion with Fox Viewers.
Often, people who watch my segments will recognize me while I’m grocery shopping, or running errands with my four kids.
I’m not gonna lie, it’s fun for strangers to tell you that you’ve impacted their life with your passion.
But what happens when that passion starts to overtake other areas of your life?
Or that passion feels like it’s costing your family more than it’s worth?
I’ll tell you what happens: you have to make a hard heart decision.
BUT CAN YOU REALLY WALK AWAY?
It’s not easy, but when you are faced with a hard decision you have to decide what’s best for your family, and be willing to walk away from the seemingly good “opportunity”.
I realize this might sound like it doesn’t relate to your personal finances, but it definitely does.
Let me illustrate how it relates with a quick story.
I have a dear friend who is a super talented dancer. She taught dance at a local studio so that her daughters could get a discount on their classes.
But there was some drama going on at the dance studio and my friend was caught in the middle of some serious mom bullying (there’s no other good word for it).
She didn’t want to quit teaching dance because she feared her girls would feel awkward around their friends later.
And she also feared the extra cost of dance once she wasn’t teaching to offset the cost.
But you know what? She pushed past that fear and everything turned out better than before.
Having to make that hard heart decision forced her to think creatively to find other dance options for her daughters. Decisions that were cost beneficial and even turned out to be more fun.
One of her daughters even made the college dance team as a High School Junior. Sawheet!
FOX WAS A GREAT PLACE TO WORK
Most people think that I worked for Fox, but that is not true. I was a weekly guest. And it takes at least 10 hours for me to properly prepare that segment each week.
That is 10 hours that I can spend developing a new free meal plan that will completely rock your life.
Having a weekly TV Segment seems like it would be such a great “gig”, but in reality, the time exchanged for the impact I was making on people’s lives didn’t translate to being truly worth it.
I was impacting the Fox viewers, but there is a disconnect that I prefer to be closer to my audience and that means I need to be available to answer emails and comments so I can truly help you, more personally than TV allows.
I have nothing bad to say about Fox. It was a wonderful opportunity and I’m grateful for the six years I had that segment. It is just time for a new season.
WHAT ARE YOUR HARD HEART DECISIONS?
I bet there are some hard money decisions you need to make also.
That one thing that pops into your mind (and heart) that you know is a problem, but you are too comfortable with it, or scared, to move away from.
Maybe you have a “side hustle” tutoring kids after school to make a little side income to help pay for groceries and you’d rather spend that time with YOUR kids.
Or maybe it’s the opposite, you aren’t spending time making money, instead, you are overspending on things you don’t necessarily need, but you justify that you are helping someone.
Leggings, jewelry, or even getting your nails done, that you buy to support a friend’s business and you just can’t say no.
But you really can’t afford to buy any more items (or wonderful as they are, pedicures).
Or maybe it’s as simple as knowing you should not renew your Amazon Prime membership this year, and instead put that $100 towards paying off debt. And that stinks. I know.
It’s hard to look inside and know you have hard decisions to make.
HOW TO DECIDE WHAT’S BEST FOR YOUR FAMILY
Here’s 2 things that’ll help you make that hard heart decision and decide what’s best for your family’s finances:
1. Determine Your Family’s Priorities & The Costs Associated With Them
Whip out a pen and paper and write down the things from your calendar (or your bank account) that are most important to your family.
Then reorder them in by how important they are to your family.
Don’t forget to include the cost (or earnings) associated with each one.
• Attending Church (if you also go on Wednesday nights, that usually costs money for dinner)
• Sports practice (all the gear associated with the sport and tournaments if they have them)
• Couples monthly game night, or TV/Movie Night (Maybe you need to cut off cable because it’s costing your family an extra $50 but you are afraid that you won’t have the family time you treasure each week watching your special family show.)
• Tutoring kids after school for extra money.
Ask yourself this: Are you giving more of yourself to others because of the money? Would it be worth a slight “monetary hit” to benefit the ones you love most?
2. Determine The Value Of Your Time
Now that you know what calendar items are important to your family, think about how long those tasks take.
Identify how much time the task really takes you and determine what you could be doing instead. Could you get more money (or other benefit) for the same time spent?
Maybe you could stop tutoring and do a different job instead that better meshes with your family schedule?
Don’t sell yourself short, and force yourself to do something when you truly want to be doing something else.
The money my friend was earning wasn’t worth the cost to endure some of the worst mommy bullying I’ve ever seen. Even worse than the bullying my daughter went through in middle school.
Sometimes you’ve gotta make a hard decision by looking fear right in the face and forcing yourself to do.it.anyway.
Sometimes you’ve gotta make a hard decision by looking fame right in the face, and turning around and walking the other way.
And then sometimes, you have to just stop and sit down, get quiet, and just “be still” so you can listen to what your heart is telling you is the best decision for the season your family is in right now.
TAKE THAT LEAP OF FAITH… AND QUIT
I’ll be honest, choosing the potentially harder road is super hard. It’s nerve wracking to wonder if you’ll be able to make up for a loss in income.
Or worry that you won’t be able to support a friend’s business venture. Or now you’ll have to pay for shipping on Amazon.
But without the extra stress you are enduring now, and because of the time you’ll be able to give back to your schedule, you’ll have clear(er) thinking to make better decisions.
Have you noticed that you do the best thinking when you take a shower? That’s because your brain knows you are actually going to pause and (possibly) relax. When our mind is relaxing it can do it’s most creative thinking. Albeit we are still doing something and not truly relaxing… but it’s something we moms can do on autopilot without thinking… like wash our hair and shave our legs… 😂.
Your brain cannot relax when you are constantly stressed out about your situation.
Don’t let fear keep you from taking care of yourself.
Don’t get me wrong, of course I’m scared of having quit my segments at the TV Station. Everyone thinks that is such a great job, and I agree… it’s just not a great job for me, right now.
You see, Fox viewers don’t realize that it takes me so long to prepare my segments. And they also don’t know that I am only getting 4 hours of sleep each night to get everything done. That means I have less energy to be a good mom, wife and money-saving blogger all for the sake of a 6 minute weekly TV Segment. Something had to give.
When my husband I did the exercise I explained above, identifying our families priorities and the value of my time, unfortunately the Fox segment didn’t make the cut.
THIS IS THE TRUTH:
Please hear this truth from me today: you are worth so much more than any job you get, or any money you make.
Because your worth is not measured by a job.
Nor your income.
And it is definitely not measured by the wavering external stipulations of this world. In fact, your worth is determined by who you are at your core. It is measured by your values and how you create a life of meaning and purpose.
When you know who you are at your core, you’ll experience a sense of peace through all of life’s inevitable highs and lows.
You’ll believe in yourself regardless of whether you have a great side job where people look up to you, or because you are a pretend news anchor on TV.
HOW TO MEASURE YOUR WORTH
Instead of chasing things that temporarily boost your self-esteem such as a new income level or job title, measure your self-worth by the values you have. Then take a deep look at your life to ensure you’re living with meaning and purpose.
Focus all your attention on the things that matter most to your family, which should also be those things that align with your values.
Make those hard decisions and get rid of the job that is not quite right for your season right now. Seek one that better aligns with your family. Maybe it’s time to take a break and refocus on your health.
When you get rid of the things holding you back, you gain a clarity over your life, which might happen even in the midst of uncertainty.
Which is truly worth all the money in the world.
And now it’s your turn. What are some hard heart decisions you’ve made in the past that felt like they were going to be a bad financial decision, or they were scary to take the leap, but turned out okay? Comment below and share your story with me.
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